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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Work is Messing With Me

I work for a non-profit and have private clients. The monthly salary of the non-profit covers all of our bills. It's a decent gig when they aren't jerking me around.

Currently, they only jerk me around. B mostly wants me to suck it up to make sure we get some of the hospital bills taken care of. So a few more months.

At this point, a few more months seems like an eternity. They want me to sign a contract that they gave me an hour before they wanted it signed. I've been trying to negotiate it with them for two months now. They've met with me once. And at that meeting, they didn't even discuss the contract. Instead, they ambushed me with vague statements regarding client and staff complaints.  I can't address then because I have no idea what the complaints are our who has made them. This is both extremely inappropriate and unprofessional.

In addition, they've set deadlines for a contract to get into place. Then days before the last deadline, they extended it.  I'm currently three days away from the next deadline.

After the last attack, er meeting,  I decided to leave. Now they are asking me to come discuss the contract tomorrow. They also want me to prepare reports for them regarding my number of hours and all complaints and how they were resolved. They just told me this before I started writing today. Our meeting is tomorrow.

The other thing to keep in mind is that complaints happen all the time due to the nature of my work. I'm not working with happy people. But there are no formal complaints.  It's just people blowing off steam do it's not like we keep a list of these "complaints" anywhere. I'm absolutely not going to go through every note in every file to find these venting sessions. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do with that....

So, I keep finding myself in this position where I may not have a job in three days which is very stressful. The only way to stop it is to leave. But then, we don't have any guaranteed money. So, I'm stuck taking it. I'm trying to think of another way to make this stop. Any suggestions?

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Keeping It Together and Resources

As you can probably imagine, I'm super nervous about our new baby. This is my scary week. This is the week that our last little one stopped growing. It'll still be several weeks before I am more pregnant than I have ever been (That'll happen at 12 weeks even though my miscarriage lasted over a full month after that. 12 weeks is when we discovered our loss. So that's my milestone.). Thursday, we get to hear the heartbeat via ultrasound. Thursday is our next milestone.

So, today, I've been worried. Honestly, I've been worried since the plus sign appeared on the pregnancy test. But today more so than others. Partly because I've been lazy and on the couch almost all day today since it's the weekend and my morning sickness is in full swing.

As a proactive measure, I've been researching subsequent pregnancy after a loss support groups. I've found a few that I'll call and check on tomorrow.

But the most exciting find? Bristol Beats. A couple that experienced a stillbirth at 5 months and then a successful pregnancy now "rents" (for free) doplers for parents that had a previous loss. I will be talking to my midwife about this. I can't imagine being able to hear my baby's heartbeat any time I need some assurance.

What a nice way to remember your daughter and help others. Not only does this seem helpful for me, but it inspired me. I think we might volunteer in memory of our little one and maybe host a fundraiser for Bristol Beats.