On Friday, I was having a chat with my mom. I do this very frequently. She again mentioned that she was shocked at how rude I was to my mother-in-law a few months ago. This was very upsetting to me. I not only feel like I'm doing the best I can regarding my emotions, but also I've grown very impatient (almost intolerant) of everyone else's lack of consideration. I realized that I've found myself thinking that if someone isn't considerate to me, it's probably okay if I make them feel awkward or am less than considerate to them.
The problem with this isn't that my mom is upset by it. It's that I'm upset that I have started feeling this way. If everyone believes they have the right to be inconsiderate just because someone else wasn't nice to them, the whole world will be inconsiderate with no hope. Also, I started sounding like a spoiled brat with an entitlement complex. These realizations of course, took almost all weekend for me to grasp (with help from B, of course). We agree that my impatience is understandable, but it's also something I need to work on. Besides, I'm sure everyone has good intentions even if they are misguided.
I was raised to be a sweet, charming, southern lady. Well, my sweet and charming has been noticeably missing the last few months. It's time for me to get back to the basics and practice my good ole southern family values.
In an effort to do this, my mantra has become: My actions are not determined by the actions of others.