Yesterday was my first time back at yoga since learning that our baby didn't have a heartbeat. I had been afraid to go back. Afraid that I would cry during class.
A few weeks ago, I realized that I was blaming my body for the miscarriage. I didn't want to be inside my body anymore.
Yoga is about being present in the moment and in your body. My favorite instructor urges her class to listen to our bodies. This is something I really didn't want to do.
Turns out, I did cry. I realized it was okay. No one stared at me or whispered. My instructor paid a little extra attention to me giving small massages to my back when I would take a break (I warned her before class.), but didn't 'make a scene'.
I also learned that this wasn't my body's fault. I felt re-connected and present for maybe the first time since June. Unfortunately, that peace was short-lived but that's another post.